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Monday, 10 June 2013

The vicar has lost his bike (in which I share a cunning plan)

So now we know for sure that the US government spies on facebook, e-mails and all the rest.  The UK
London has posted the video of the kitten playing
with a printer, comrades.  It's time to act.
government has been trying to pass a snooper's act for some time.  So here is my cunning plan to respond to this.

Many of you may know that during WWII the BBC World Service used to end its news broadcasts with 'and now some personal messages'.  There would then follow a series of random statements: the vicar has lost his bike.  Susan is looking forward to the holiday.  Mr Jones has gone to evensong.  Johnie played well in soccer today.  Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness.  [Some of the items were lines from plays or poems.]

The point was that none of these could be decoded.  Most was gibberish.  But in amongst them were lines that the resistance had been told to expect, and when they heard them, that meant that something pre-arranged would happen that night (or whenever).  Before D-Day (if I remember correctly) a line of a poem was broadcast; when the next line was read out, that meant, the invasion is coming tonight/tomorrow, etc.  German intelligence apparently guessed this one right but the supreme command refused to believe it.

So my cunning plan is to jam the e-airwaves with gibberish, have our own codes for what they mean, or not even that. Just clog the system up with things that don't make any sense.

And now some personal messages:
The vicar has lost his bike.


P.s.  My mate asks, 'isn't this just what Twitter is anyway?'  I fear he has a point.

Freddie has gone for pizza.


  1. As someone who's cell phone company (Verizon) is apparently being continuously monitored by the government, I like it.

    My neighbor's dog has slipped its leash.

  2. As someone whose cell phone carrier (Verizon) is being continuously monitored by our government, I like it.

    My neighbor's dog has slipped its leash.

  3. There is the apocryphal story of a left-wing bookshop where people were given 2p and encouraged to go up the back and use the payphone to call a friend and invite them to the "secret" protest the following weekend.

    The following weekend, the police arrived mob handed to police the protest. That didn't exist.

    The bookshop knew the police were tapping the phone, and were just asking people to make the calls and then tell their mates to forget about it when they met them down the pub later...

    So, who's up for Occupy Westminster on Saturday?

  4. Something like this already exists its called the Library Spotted Revived.

    1. Thanks. That cost me half an hour of my life which I won't get back.

    2. Sorry. You don't participate on LSR anyway! Why don't you set up something like that for the staff where you can anonymously comment about stuff which we can't decode? The idea is sound you've just been beaten to it.

    3. How do you know we don't participate? All those 'to the girl in the blue top in the sociology section: you're fit' comments could be put there by creepy lecturers... Now, that's worried you. Feel free to pass that horrible image on to your peers.

    4. Haha erm who exactly are you trying to fool here? LSR is a method of student procrastination not staff procrastination, besides how often are you in the library to post such comments? I can pass the message on but you know you 'creepy lecturers' might end up in the news again...

    5. I didn't say it would be *me*. Just that since the comments are anonymous how would you know. But, yeah. Fair point well made.

    6. YES! I shall consider this a victory, a slender one, but a victory nevertheless.

  5. Library Spotted Revived isn't a code, it's hell-spawn from the arse-crack of Satan.


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